A post mortem

I just spoke with a good friend on the phone. I called him to seek his honest opinions about me. He is right. Im insecure and that explains why Im unwilling to make a decision. But as we talked, we delved deeper into my core and I found some explanations to my paradoxes.

It seems that in my pursuit to be altruistic, I became a giving person. I didnt believe in ranking my friends. I say, all should be equal and I try to be fair to everybody. However, that was being idealistic.

How could you treat somebody like a diamond when he treats you like shit?

And at that instant another bubble popped and I crash back onto hard logic. Of course this doesnt mean altruism doesnt exist. The bible speaks of the parable of the prodigal son. The values of altruism can be found in there.

And now, I just need to ask somebody one last question before riding the winds of change.

The end of a friendship??? :(

Im not sure where to start and Im sad, angry and confused. I lost a friend because he couldnt forget the past and accuses me of conning him. And worst he overstep a boundary and suggested that Im a conmen for the past 5 years.

I think I had enough. I made it clear to him that if he insisted behaving in this manner, we will no longer be friends. And he said ok.

And while I walked back, I thought of teh things I did for him and how he never appreciated them. Gerald and ahmad was right all along. He wasnt as what I thought him to be.

To my other friends, a peice of advice for you:

Beware the snake the bites the hand that feeds it.